New Leaders: Why Building Relationships with Your Team Matters

It can be challenging for new leaders to balance between being respected and approachable. However, building a relationship with your team members is crucial for their development and your success as a leader. In fact, bosses who develop relationships with their team members also help those team members to develop their own resiliency.

Relationships Create Psychological Safety

One of the most significant benefits of building a relationship with your team is the creation of a sense of psychological safety. Psychological safety is the belief that one can take risks and be vulnerable in front of others without fear of negative consequences. This creates an environment where team members feel free to try new ways of doing things, delight their customers, and share ideas without fear of retribution. Team members who feel safe are more likely to be engaged, and their engagement often translates into better performance.

A strong relationship with a boss is at the root of feeling secure and safe. When team members feel that their boss values them as individuals, they are more likely to be committed to their work and to the team’s goals. As a result, they are more likely to take ownership of their work and produce higher quality results.

According to a study in the International Journal of Industrial, Occupational and Organizational Psychology and Behavior, Authors Abraham Carmeli and Jody Hoffer Gittell found that leaders who develop high-quality relationships with team members can create a culture of psychological safety. These relationships were developed by providing support, empathy, and trust to the individuals, and such relationships can lead to increased learning from previous failures, therefore improving performance.

new leaders should build teams with psychological safety to enhance performance and impact

Examples From Business: Google and Southwest Airlines

To further illustrate this point, let’s examine a couple of examples from the business world. First, let’s consider Google, a company that consistently ranks as a “best places to work.” Google has long been known for its emphasis on employee relationships and psychological safety. By providing a culture where employees feel psychologically safe and supported, Google creates an environment that fosters creativity and innovation.

Another example is Southwest Airlines, which despite some recent setbacks, is consistently ranked as one of the best-performing airlines in the United States. Southwest’s employees are known for their positive attitude and excellent customer service – allowing their unique personalities to shine through without punishment or reprisal. Southwest places a significant emphasis on employee development, which includes how to create exceptional relationships among team members and leaders. By valuing their employees and creating a culture of empowerment, Southwest’s employees are motivated to provide exceptional customer service.

Example From the World of Sports: Coach Phil Jackson

Phil Jackson is known as a leader who developed strong relationships with his team members, which he did as the former head coach of the Chicago Bulls and the Los Angeles Lakers of the National Basketball Association (NBA).

During his tenure with both teams, Jackson was known for building strong relationships with his players and became known by the nickname “Zen Master”. He emphasized open communication, harmony, mutual respect, and trust as the foundation of his coaching style. He believed that by developing relationships, he could create a culture where players felt comfortable taking risks and trying new things on the court. This relationship-based approach paid off in a big way for Jackson and his teams.

Phil Jackson – Michael Jordan

Phil Jackson led the Chicago Bulls to six NBA championships in the 1990s, and the Los Angeles Lakers to five championships in the 2000s. Many of his players, including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Shaquille O’Neal, credit Coach Jackson with helping them develop their skills, both on and off the court.

For example, during the 1997-1998 season, Jordan was dealing with personal issues and had lost his father earlier in the year. Jackson knew that Jordan was struggling and took the time to offer his support. Jordan later said that this conversation helped him get through one of the toughest times in his life. Jordan shared that he felt that Jackson genuinely cared about him as a person, not just as a player.

Phil Jackson’s style was on full display in the documentary, “The Last Dance” when discussing his final season coaching the Chicago Bulls. Knowing that he was going to be terminated at the end of the season and the team would be broken up, he used that to further strengthen the bond among the players. He became even more trusted, especially managing the strong personalities on the team, including Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen, and Dennis Rodman.

Phil Jackson – Kobe Bryant

Similarly, when Kobe Bryant was a young player with the Lakers, he had a reputation for being both difficult to coach and a selfish player. Coach Jackson took the time to build a relationship with Bryant, getting to know him on a personal level and helping him develop his leadership skills. Bryant later said that he felt that his relationship with Jackson was more than just a coach–he was a mentor and a friend.

These examples show how a leader who takes the time to build relationships with their team can help those team members develop their resiliency, a key characteristic of effective teams. By creating a culture of psychological safety, team members are more likely to take risks, try new things, and perform at their best without fear. As a new leader, taking the time to build these relationships can be one of the most effective ways to build trust, laying the foundation for a strong and successful team.

A Lesson for New Leaders

As a new leader, it’s essential to prioritize building individual relationships with your team members. By creating a culture of psychological safety, you’ll foster an environment where team members can take risks, try new things, and produce their best work. As demonstrated by Google, Southwest Airlines, and Phil Jackson, developing strong relationships with team members can have a significant, positive impact on driving for results. As you start your leadership journey, remember that your team’s success is your success, and investing in your team is always a wise choice.

Key Takeaways

New leaders who develop strong relationships with their team members can help those team members develop resiliency, which can lead to increased performance and success. Building a relationship with a boss creates psychological safety and a feeling of security, allowing team members to take risks, try new things, and delight customers.

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Am I serving the group?

At work, I have been sharing with many teams lately about the concept of reflection as a reflex. The concept is about using what Viktor Frankl described in his book Man’s Search for Meaning as the space between stimulus and response. Stephen Covey also included this concept in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Embed from Getty Images

At times in my career, I have found myself hesitating in meetings. Reflecting on it, I think I hesitate because of things like Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS), fear that what I say will sound obvious to the rest of the group, or that others in the room are smarter or more experienced than I am and I probably do not have anything of value to contribute. Is this something you struggle with too?

Over time, I have learned a quick “test” that has helped me and I hope will help you too.

Any time I hesitate to speak, I ask myself, “Will what I am about to say serve the group?”

This yes or no question gives me enough time to reflect without missing the germane part of the conversation and to make a decision on whether my comment will add value to the discussion. This question is also consistent with my personal definition of leadership and my desire to practice servant leadership. It gives me the confidence that even if my comment is controversial, it will be received in the right way because my motivation is service to the group.

I use this test in almost every meeting that I attend. It helps me to reflect in the moment and make sure that I am contributing at a high level. The test also keeps me centered. For example, the “test” prevents me from being too quiet or too dominant because my comments are always in pursuit of service to the group.

I hope you find value in this test as well and it helps you create better and more productive meetings.

KEY TAKEAWAY: Leaders can practice reflexion in most contexts, including meetings. Before you speak, simply asking yourself, “Will what I am about to say serve the group?” will give you the confidence to speak up and reflect the authenticity of your point of view.

 

Miracles

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were in Atlanta on vacation. I had been excited for years to go to Atlanta. Not only is the city wonderful (my wife raves about it after having lived there for two years as a graduate student at Georgia Tech), but it’s one of two cities with the “Trifecta”: A ballpark, a Presidential Library, and a State Capitol building.

I enjoyed going to all three, with the icing on top being an Atlanta United vs. DC United game at Mercedes Benz Stadium, which is one of, if not the best place I have ever seen a sporting event. But it was an exhibit at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum that made me think and want to learn more.

The Carter library has an entire exhibit on the Israeli-Egyptian peace process, facilitated by Carter, which took place at Camp David. The exhibit describes the 13-day marathon negotiation that yielded peace between Israel and Egypt. The exhibit displays copies of President Carter’s notes about the personalities of the other two country’s leaders; Prime Minister Menachem Begin from Israel and President Anwar Sadat from Egypt and many pictures and artifacts from the summit.

Carter Library

Photo taken at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum on July 19, 2019

Ultimately, the long negotiation concluded with peace between two neighboring countries, who were previously in an almost constant state of war. The exhibit alone was not enough to satisfy my curiosity, so I read the book Thirteen Days in September: Carter, Begin, and Sadat at Camp David by Lawrence Wright.

My main takeaway from the book is that the outcome of a peace treaty from the summit was nothing short of a miracle. The three principle leaders had to set aside both ancient and modern history and religious beliefs just to begin negotiations. The outcome of the talks were constantly in doubt, and the three delegations had personalities that the others could not stand to be around. Even within the delegations there were stark differences of opinion, style, and personalities.

There have been a couple of events recently that have made me reflect on a concept that gets thrown around a lot: diversity. The benefits of creating diverse teams is well documented, yet we still struggle with an enduring distrust in the “other.” This made me wonder if diversity is a relatively new construct for humans. Since international travel is a relatively new concept, did our ancient ancestors only associate with people who were like them? Do we lack the muscle to embrace the other in a way where we can solve problems together like the leaders did at Camp David?

I find that coming to comfortable agreement even among people who share similar backgrounds can be challenging because everyone has a unique perspective. When we layer on history, personality, faith, etc, the odds of reaching agreement or collaborating on the most critical issues of our time get more and more challenging.

It has made me realize that the miracles I believe in are not acts of nature or coincidence, but those instances where diverse people can come together to solve problems. In my experience, diversity of thought and experience tend to make solutions better for all involved. Yet the pull of how we are different from one another can be stronger than the push of our commonalities.

I believe in diverse teams and I thoroughly enjoy living and working in diverse environments. The benefits of living in a diverse society, however, can only be reached if we listen intently to one another and turn off the filters of distrust.

What happened at Camp David was a miracle that produced incredible benefits to the Middle East and the world, ending wars and establishing peace. As leaders, we must help the world embrace diversity and candor to create more of these miracles that produce diverse and inclusive societies.

KEY TAKEAWAY: Diverse groups of people living and working together can produce tremendous benefits. Leaders should embrace diversity, while creating an environment where people from diverse backgrounds can explore their differences, while embracing similarities to create thriving organizations.

Book Review: Prescription for Excellence

You may have noticed that health care has been in the news a lot recently. Whether it is the Democratic Party presidential candidates talking about their plans, price transparency, or access to prescription drugs, it is fairly safe to say that the current system is not working for a group of people in our country.

There is so much to fix, including the experience of receiving care. Many patients experience customer service outside of health care and they expect that same level of care, treatment, ease, and convenience.

RxforExcellenceSeveral years ago, the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) health system decided to work on fixing the experience of care. Their results were astounding, going from the 30th percentile of U.S. hospitals to the 99th percentile. Dr. David Feinberg, the then CEO of the UCLA hospital system (he has since run the Geisinger Health System and now is the VP of Google Health), was committed to doing better as the UCLA system grew in Southern California.

Using the lessons from other retail leaders who are known for their customer experience, UCLA did some progressive things to enhance and enrich the hospital’s patient experience. The progress is summarized in Joseph Michelli’s book Prescription for Excellence: Leadership Lessons for Creating a World-Class Customer Experience From UCLA Health System.

I appreciate that Dr. Michelli, who has written on companies like Starbucks and the Ritz Carlton, used part of his introduction to the book to acknowledge why it was important for him to write about a health care organization. The demands are high, regulations abound, safety is paramount, and politics are rampant. Delivering excellence in that environment is a unique feat and one that keeps those of us who are part of the business aspect of health care both fired up and very busy.

What I enjoyed about Prescription for Excellence was learning about the leaders from the organization who invested in the patient experience system, called “CICARE” (pronounced See-I-Care). Leaders modeled the behaviors that they asked the staff to model as well, and they were constantly present, speaking to patients to learn more about their care.

What UCLA figured out is that, just like in another industry, the three main elements of hard-wiring a consistently excellent and customized patient experience are: alignment, empowerment, and engagement. CICARE was their system of alignment, they empowered the team to act on it by training them, and engaged them in the work, partly by emphasizing the importance of it.

The following quote in the book sums this idea up nicely, “Relationships-based caste is often about empowerment. Empowerment starts with leaders giving staff members the tools and the trust they need to provide extraordinary service. Those tools include structure service behaviors…When well-selected employees are given resources, trained, and empowered effectively, extraordinary service relationships developing, and customers are empowered to build skills that meet their needs.” (Michelli 64).

Developing systems and allowing people to innovate within those systems are keys to delivering service excellence whether in health care or any other industry.

KEY TAKEAWAY: Excellent service systems are created from aligned, empowered, and engaged team members.


Prescription for Excellence is available for purchase on Amazon for $30 (does not include Prime discount)

Who’s “in the box”?

My wife and I have been traveling more than usual over the last couple of weeks. Like clock work, when we are in the airport (usually in line to board the plane), I look at my wife and say, “Uh oh. I am so in the box right now.”

What I am referring to is an anecdote from the book, Leadership and Self-Deception published by the Arbinger Institute. The book discusses how many of us remain “in the box” in our work lives, where we tend to see people more as objects or obstacles rather than as people who have the same hopes, desires, needs, and wants that we do.

By way of example, picture boarding a Southwest Airlines flight. They are known for their unique boarding process where passengers are not assigned seats, but are instead assigned boarding numbers that create a queue for entering the plane and choosing any open seat. When traveling with a companion, most people with early boarding numbers sit one on the aisle and one on the window, hoping the plane is not full, and no one will choose to occupy the middle seat.

Angie’s post as part of “Project Outward” about our conversation about Leadership and Self Deception

However, the people with later boarding numbers are still people. They want to enjoy a flight that they purchased and reach their destination safely and comfortably just like anyone else would. But when we are sitting in our self-selected seat, avoiding eye-contact in hopes that the next passenger walks past us, those other passengers lose their humanity in our eyes and become an obstacle to our wants. When we do that, we are “in the box”

The book goes deeper to unpack this idea in a user friendly, narrative form. It explains how we get into the box and what we can do to get out of it.

Reading this book has made me think deeper about being “in the box.” I am more aware of times when I view people critically rather than trying to see the whole picture. It is a vital concept in patient or customer experience, because sometimes we create systems that put bedside caregivers,”in the box.” In those cases, not only are other people in the organization seen as obstacles, but our patients can be seen as obstacles too. In that environment it is almost impossible for one to display the empathy needed towards a patient in the hospital.

One of the biggest benefits of the book is the use of common language, including the “in the box” phrase. One of this blog’s loyal readers, Angie Bryl, Clinical Director for Dankmeyer Prosthetics and Orthotics, has used Leadership and Self Deception to advance the culture of her organization. Team members at Dankmeyer frequently use the term “in the box” to point out barriers in collaboration between team members. She has found the framework helpful not only at work, but personally too.

I have enjoyed Angie’s Facebook posts called, “Project Outward”, which she writes about people in her life who inspire her or make her think more deeply about a topic. She told me that being focused on being “outside of the box” has helped her be more true to herself, be more generous, and be less inhibited when her initial instinct is to do something nice for another person.

It is for all of those reasons that I recommend we follow Angie’s example and really internalize all of the lessons in Leadership and Self Deception. Angie gifted me a copy of the book and shared her experiences with me. I think it is making me a better person, both at work and in my personal life, and I so appreciate the thoughtful recommendation and gift. I only wish I had read it sooner!

KEY TAKEAWAY: Being “in the box” means seeing people as obstacles rather than as human beings with needs and wants just like us. As leaders, we must take steps to encourage team members to live “out of the box”, especially when interfacing with our patients or customers.


Leadership and Self Deception is available for purchase on Amazon for $16.95 (does not include Prime discount).